I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
