Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize