U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Soap is not a condiment
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
