i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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