how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Fuck me I smell like cheese
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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