It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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