That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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