i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you would pick up someone in the library
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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