They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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