I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
