Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
