hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
