Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
