So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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