I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
