I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
