Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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