Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I believe in your delicious
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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