What a fucking waste of an outfit
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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