Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
