Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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