well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My ass is underappreciated
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize