what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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