I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
