I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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