We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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