i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
