Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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