Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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