There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
