They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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