his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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