Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
