So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
