you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
