found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
