Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
