You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize