I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
