i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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