Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
