I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
