i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
