I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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