I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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