Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
