STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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