Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
