Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
