OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just blew my weed a kiss
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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