I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
