well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
