as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
