I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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