Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
