I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Banned from zoo.
Again?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
