He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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