Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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