Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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