At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
