And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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