you would pick up someone in the library
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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