If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
