I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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