Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
